Sound &Vision

Re: German Speech Translation–Ich habe genug!

I don’t speak German–not a bit. I like the way the language sounds; I like that they can convey ideas like Schadenfreude and zeitgeist; but Mark Twain long ago convinced me that learning it later in life is an exercise in sadomasichism–a word which comes as close as English does to sounding like one of those unweildy German compounds, like “Geschwindigkeitsanzeigetafel.”  But sometimes I like to snag a quick phrase or two, mostly to use as exclaimations of frustration–like scheiße!

So I was listening to a lecture on music presented by Oliver Sacks, and he mentions a song by Bach called “Ich habe genug,” meaning, he says, “I’ve had enough” (Although, it’s probably more correctly, “I have enough,” since Bach wasn’t writing about exasperation, but about some amount of desirable religious adulation or whathaveyou; although, I think it works well in both senses, frankly.)

Now, when I borrow another language’s phrases, I usually make some effort (initially at least) to get the pronunciation reasonably correct. I could just try to say it like Oliver Sacks, but he’s British and I get enough criticism for my unconscious British affectations as it is. Ordinarily, as with this time, I try to speak it to my phone’s speech translation program, called Talk To Me, and say the words until it understands me well enough to pop out the proper translation. Unfortunately, Talk To Me apparently feels that I don’t have the ear or the tongue for German pronunciation, because I’ve yet to get “I’ve had enough” out of this verdammt thing. However, here’re some examples of what I have, apparently, said whilst trying to perfect “ich habe genug”:

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Cell Phone, Add Diction

A few organized lists of some of the many words¹ I’ve had to teach my phone (some understandably; most not so understandably) so I can sometimes sound a little like myself–or a little better–in texts and emails:

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♫ It was Twen…Two…Two years ago today… ♪

Two years ago, I kicked off Sound &Vision, for no clear reason at all, with a quote from Carl Sagan about the universe, semantics and the national debt. While I’ve forgotten about this place more often than I’ve posted on it, I thought it at least deserved a mention.

A Minor Pet Peeveeeeee.

Everyone likes to type like they talk.  It’s more expressive and, since tones are going to be assumed by the reader anyway, you might as well guide them as much as you can.  I do it myself (note my “overuse” of commas) and am all for everyone else doing it too.

What I don’t like and what I don’t get is the way some people type what, in speech, is a continued vowel sound (I’m sure it has a linguistic name; guess who’s not a linguist…). Take, for example, how some people type a word like “brains” used in certain instances––like in the case of zombies. 

We all know zombies love brains.  Apparently at some point in cinematic history one of them worked up the laryngeal strength to translate that longing into a dulcet moan. He wanted brains; he wanted them so badly he was going to act like a baby until he got them.

Now, we all know how that would sound: Normal start; longer, sustained middle; normal end.  Think about it.  If the word’s normal diction is a straight line then this verbalization is a bell curve.  You with me? (If not, forget that analogy.)

So why do I so often see online that people type such a thing thus (via Fark.com):

All this chocolate skull cake needs is some juicy BRAINNN filling

See that?  They carried out the last letter.  Why?  Nobody slams on the ‘N’ like that? The only time this pronunciation would ever happen is if someone happened to be discussing cognitive psychology just as he leaned against the electric fence in Jurassic Park.

Conducting 40,000 Megawatts will make you talk like an idiot.  Why do it voluntarily?

But this isn’t a one-off “zombie thing.”  Oh no.  The same mis-usage pattern crops up all over the place.  Occasionally my DJ friends say some party’s going to be “BADASSSSSSSS!”  Oh yeah?  Is it Cobra Commander’s birthday party or something?  Are you Cobra Commander?  Anyone other than Cobra Commander who talks like Cobra Commander is an idiot.

People of the Internet!  Hear Me!  It’s the vowel sound that’s being sustained here.  Use. Your. BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!

(And thanks.)

I Got a Droid X. It’s Complicated.

Here’s a picture of the old way of life and the new:

(To be fair to the old life, I used to use a loaned Blackberry 8330 setup as a goPhone)

Let me first state the obvious: The screen on the iPod Touch (3rd Generation) was way, WAY better than the Droid X …at reflecting the air conditioner vent on my ceiling.

Seriously, the Droid X is cool and I dove in head first.  Now that I’m in the water, I find it (and this aquatic metaphor) lacking in a lot of ways, but I’m committed to trying to get by with it—to finding a life preserver, as it…alright to hell with the metaphor.

I’ll write later about what does and does not work out, but I’m going to try not using my iPod Touch (or, for that matter, a goPhone) at all for about a week and see if my quality of life nosedives.

I will say that the degree to which this phone integrates with all the Google in my life is nothing short of deserving the following two sentences: Bad. Ass.

The idea of an iPhone with this level of seamless Google integration (or equal email/calendar/voicemail/etc./etc. functionality) may well be my generation’s jetbacks and flying cars.  Why do I say that?  Because there are jetpacks and flying cars, and they do what you think––they’re just not as elegant or easy to use as everyone had hoped.  Neither is Android (no matter what pastry-ish thing inspires its new iteration). (And I mean, have you TRIED MobileMe?)

But here I am. Me and my Droid X, for better or …the next twenty days or so.

I Write Like Jack London, Who Writes Like…

I’d visited I Write Like a few times already just to make sure I don’t write too much like Dan Brown (which, sadly, I do more than I’d like according to their little algorithm), but today I wondered, “Who does the guy I write like write like?”  So, I cut and pasted a passage from a draft of an article I’m working on.  Turns out…

I write like
Jack London

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

What a compliment! I have Call of the Wild right here; turning to a random page…

“Buck’s first day on the Dyea beach was like a nightmare. Every hour was filled with shock and surprise. He had been suddenly jerked from the heart of civilization and flung into the heart of things primordial. No lazy, sun-kissed life was this, with nothing to do but loaf and be bored.”

Hmm.. It says he writes like Jack London. Maybe Call of the Wild’s too obvious. Perhaps, something from Dutch Courage and Other Storieso would be a more fair assessment.  Turning again to a random page…

“Davies took a rifle and strolled back with so ominous an air that the lone cavalryman put spurs to his horse and fled.  Mrs. Morgan was helped out and sent plodding and tottering unaided on her way to the end of the sand stretch.”

Good enough.  Result:

I write like
Margaret Mitchell

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind. No shame in that; I can totally see it too.  And way better than Dan Brown, most people, I think, would agree.  Well done, Mr. London.

Curiosity = Satisfied

Things I’ll Eventually Abandon…

http://thatisnotaword.tumblr.com